Tag: sadness

Everyone is safe

Three weeks in, three weeks out. Longer now, but I wrote these words, longhand, after I’d been out of hospital three weeks. I’m typing them now, with today’s point of view, so you can’t believe anything. What they… Read More

Day 10 – October 10, 2018

The one where I meet a real Russian! BP: 124/60 My temperature is a little low. I woke up without a “wake up” knock because I didn’t take any Seroquel last night. I was trying a theory and… Read More

Day 9 – October 9, 2018

The one where they teach us about self-compassion. Studies have shown that entrepreneurs become entrepreneurs because they want to. But, the ones who remain successful are those who are self-compassionate in times of hardship or failure. Wait, am… Read More

Day 7 – October 7, 2018 – Day 2 of *The Weekend*

I feel hungover. I can barely open my eyes. BP 120/70 No standing BP – it’s high enough When I used to drink, I didn’t really get hangovers, not that I could remember, because I drank vodka with… Read More

Day 5 – October 5 2018 with MUSIC and a Photo of Me

BP 100/80 Standing 110/80 Well, amazing what can happen in a few short minutes. This morning, I pulled down my holland blind; this is how I learn that they are held up by magnets. I just pulled gently,… Read More

Day 3 – October 3 2018

Morning BP 112/82 – Shit, this place is giving me high blood pressure. I go to the community meeting this morning hoping for something but it just ends up being an opportunity to whinge about air-con, the locked… Read More

Day 1 – October 1, 2018

Blood Pressure 92/68 She takes my blood pressure four times. I don’t want to tell my nurse not to be to worried, that my blood pressure is always low, but I don’t want to give her a hard… Read More

30 September 2018 – The Day I Tell My Parents

Before intake Only parts of my mother’s house are still a shrine. Mostly I find little school photos, smaller than passport photos, tucked into the corners of photo frames around the house. A photo of the grandmother I… Read More

29 September 2018 – The day before

I’m at the nail place, the crappy one I swear I’ll never go to again but here I am. I tell her I don’t want any colour, that I’m going to hospital. I just want her to get… Read More

I don’t know what this one’s about so stop asking

I lie in bed and work. I work harder alone. I can focus. Sometimes there are no other thoughts when I focus. Then you come home – for lunch, for checks – you’re smiley. It’s not fake smiley,… Read More