As one of the many involuntarily childless in the world, I just want to make it very clear that I am not childless because:
- I hate children;
- The baby bonus isn’t big enough;
- I’m selfish;
- I’m single;
- JJ and I aren’t in love;
In fact, I really like babies. I’m not used to children or teenagers because none of my friends are old enough to have them yet. Although I am thoroughly enjoying T’Red’s kids, even if they make me feel a tad old (see “the mix tape incident“).
But anyway, if I believed in reincarnation and I came back as a parent, I’d be the kind of parent who:
- Took their kid to the Big Day Out and not make them wear earplugs in the Boiler Room;
- I would ignore film ratings, much like my parents did, all through the horror-70s and teens-go-wild-and-lose-their-shirts-80s
- I would insist they start wearing make up at a rather young age, although I’m no Katie Price;
Remember Keanu’s great line in the Parenthood when he says:
“You know, Mrs. Buckman, you need a license to buy a dog, to drive a car – hell, you even need a license to catch a fish. But they’ll let any butt-reaming asshole be a father.”
But anyway, if JJ and I were to come back as parents, this here video below truly, honestly reveals the kind of ‘rentals we’d hope to be.