I don’t hate children

As one of the many involuntarily childless in the world, I just want to make it very clear that I am not childless because:

  • I hate children;
  • The baby bonus isn’t big enough;
  • I’m selfish;
  • I’m single;
  • JJ and I aren’t in love;
  • Etc.

In fact, I really like babies. I’m not used to children or teenagers because none of my friends are old enough to have them yet. Although I am thoroughly enjoying T’Red’s kids, even if they make me feel a tad old (see “the mix tape incident“).

But anyway, if I believed in reincarnation and I came back as a parent, I’d be the kind of parent who:

  • Took their kid to the Big Day Out and not make them wear earplugs in the Boiler Room;
  • I would ignore film ratings, much like my parents did, all through the horror-70s and teens-go-wild-and-lose-their-shirts-80s
  • I would insist they start wearing make up at a rather young age, although I’m no Katie Price;

Princess Tiammii launching her mum, Jordan’s (Katie Price), new make up range for kids – seariously.

Remember Keanu’s great line in the Parenthood when he says:

“You know, Mrs. Buckman, you need a license to buy a dog, to drive a car – hell, you even need a license to catch a fish. But they’ll let any butt-reaming asshole be a father.”

But anyway, if JJ and I were to come back as parents, this here video below truly, honestly reveals the kind of ‘rentals we’d hope to be.

Yay parenthood!

Save

Related Post