Am I lazy? Or is it the Lithium?

Last week I was listening to RRR as they interviewed Amy Chamberlain about her new kids book “The Most Amazing Book Ever“. As I listened on, I learned that Amy, a full-time primary school teacher, has written the book, started a publishing company, has self published the book and is holding this crazy-ass launch in the city that includes a pop-up cardboard walking tour.

And then I wondered:

Why the hell haven’t I done something that cool in the last 41 years?

I admit, I’m always busy. But have I done anything?

I recently read this article about how craft can save your life. Or at least your sanity. And I could not agree more. Voila, here’s proof:

I made this

I made this too

And this

Now, if you have manic tendencies, like me, you are a wunderkind at starting project after project – a lot more than you finish. And that inevitably leads to the cycles of frustration, anxiety and, well, depression as I scream “why don’t I ever…” I just finished a book by psychologist Ellen Langer called “On Becoming an Artist: Reinventing Yourself Through Mindful Creativity”. I learned what I already know – people avoid creativity because they don’t want to make mistakes; they don’t think they’re good enough.

Nah, not me man. I make mistakes all over the place. Voila, here’s absolute proof.

But what about the big stuff? The stuff that matters? The stuff that will change the world, and me? WHY haven’t I written a book? Why do I wait til the last minute to do things? Why haven’t I practiced the piano more? Or tidied up the garden? Or finished putting the back room together? Or returned that call?Is it too many episodes of True Blood or Survivor?

You know, I hate to say this out loud, let alone commit it to writing (really, thank God this is just the internet and not forever, right) but maybe I’M JUST LAZY? Was that a gasp or a sigh of relief? You know how you force yourself to do things but the moment you let it go, you feel a huge relief? The thing is, for the most part, I’m more of a destination person. That journey schtick is for the lame-os. I mean, Chevy Chase’s journeys always sucked-ass. Although, unfortunately, so did the destination (because of the crap journey).

crap journeys… gimme walley world now!

Hey remember when you were at school and had to sit a two-hour exam? And you’d flick through the pages and there were so many and you knew that you had to sit there for 2 freaking hours and just do it?

Big BORING.

Am I an excuse maker? Well  I DO hate answering the phone – at home and at work.

So if I don’t want to be writing/planting/tidying/playing piano, what would I rather be doing instead?

I had a life coach last year who reckoned that I was a fan of starting and ending things – that the middle was just too boring for me. But unless you’re some freaking entrepreneur or made of cash, how can you avoid the middle? HOW?

Perhaps my new revelation is true. Maybe I AM just lazy.

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