Have you met the Joneses?

JJ and I are fairly far removed from being le family Jones. We try not to keep up. But there is the Dyson vacuum incident, which I won’t go into.

But when I’m alone, the Jonesing gets a tad loud.

Like the other day, I was rather blue, so I went to that great bastion of fashion in the West, Highpoint Shopping centre. Having skipped breakfast, I hopped into Gloria Jean’s for a coffee and a spinach and ricotta pastry surrounded by the most delightful ladies and their children. As I have mentioned before, I LOVE children. BUT, on this day, what with me being blue and all that, the last thing I needed was a youngster kicking a soccer ball around the cafe.

Sure, World Cup fever is abound and who the hell am I to deter a future David Beckham or Harry Kewell.

David Beckham – Can kick a soccerball around a cafe any time. Can also take off his shirt whenever he likes, thanks.

Harry Kewell – See “David Beckham”

But the kid was neither and, really, it’s a freaking cafe!

The mother did try her best to deter him.

Boy: (sound effect) kick kick kick

Mummy: Darling, I don’t think you should be kicking that around in here.

(Mummy goes back to latte and conversation)

Boy (looking around): Oh, it’s ok.

Mummy looks over at boy kick kick kicking.

Mummy: (sound effect) birds chirping

(Mummy goes back to latte and conversation)

Boy: (sound effect) kick kick kick KICK KICK KICK KICK FREAKING KICK

But anyway, it was the day after the Australian Coup (as I will henceforth refer to the day that Julia Gillard toppled Kevin Rudd). See, I’m supposed to be happy that a childless sister is now our PM. But I LOVED Kev, so it’s bittersweet and it will take some time for me to recover.

So there I was, reading The Age when over at a window seat, I copped an eyeful of a man, a little unwashed and rather creative looking, tapping away silently on a teensy weensy little laptop.

OH! I verily squealed. I wants me one of them – Precious.

Now, I belong to the Faith school of want/get/have. Remember Faith, the dark murdering slayer that came into being after Buffy died.

Faith – the bad slayer who got what she wanted.

Faith taught Buffy that slayers  could have whatever they want, whenever they want. Slayers and me!

So off I went to JB, pointed at the prettiest little thing, directed JJ to the payment machine with the plastic payment thing and voila. Want. Get. Have.

My new little Asus EEE

I can slip it into my bag and it weighs less than my wallet