A giraffe walks into a bar, and other likely stories
A guy walks into a bar with jumper cables. The bartender says, “You can come in, but don’t start anything!” Here’s my favourite joke ever and ever from when I…
A piece of art for this tuckshop lady’s arm
So I really need some advice on how to augment the lovely artwork on my arm. I’m looking for fruit, vegetables, flowers. Something colourful and beautiful. Old school Americana would…
A different kind of list – ***warning – gloomy blog ahead
Why didn’t the paper arrive at 6 like it’s supposed to? Why do I have to catch a bus this morning when I drove the car in for no reason…
How to Crack an Egg
Everyone has plenty of advice about how to get knocked up and how to stay that way, how to determine the sex of your seed, how to stop yourself from throwing…
Making Babies is a cinch
Well everybody’s doing it. Even my friend Momo has managed to go and get herself knocked up, with twins, no less! Awesome news. And then there’s Ballerina, who’s about to pop…
The Wife of the Wedding Celebrant To Be
Jazzy Jeff: ♫I’ve got the joy, joy, joy, joy down in my heart. Where? Down in my heart, down in my heart. I’ve got the joy, joy, joy, joy down…
Famous People I’ve Almost Known
So I was thinking about all the famous people I’ve known. No, not like when I realised that my musician friend, Sugar, was actually well known in the Melbourne electronic…
And the List Goes On
I’m forever writing lists. I LOVE making lists. I make lists at work of things I need to do. I make lists on the white board on my fridge of…
Papa Goes all Vanilla Ice on our Asses
So we walked in, Jazzy Jeff and I, to the humble Western Suburbs rents’ home to pick up the pooches. With the pooches scratching my unclad legs, I went straight for…
A Night Out with the Family
How come when I sent a text to all of my pals requesting their presense at the drag races at Calder Park last Friday night I got the following responses:…